Door to Door Salesmen – I thought you were dead?

   Last night at about 8pm in the middle of “Legend of Zorro” which was playing on TNT, there was a knock on our front door. It was a door-to-door salesman trying to sell us a subscription to the weekly paper.

First off, I thought surely by now with Internet shopping, QVC, Catalogs and outlet malls that door-to-door salesmen were a dying breed, however, since we moved into this neighborhood they seem to show up at least once every two or three weeks.

I annoy my wife to no end because I am one of those people that doesn’t answer the phone and won’t answer the door if I don’t know who is on the other side. I have no need or desire to talk to strangers when I am in the sanctuary of my home. If I do get snagged by a telemarketer I hang up on them. I don’t wait for them to finish their 15 minute rant and then try and sneak a “No Thank You” in between breaths. I have been harassed by those people enough to have lost all obligation for courtesy. Especially those who refuse to take no for an answer which last time I checked was all of them.

My wife is one of those people who still feels obligated to answer the door so last night she got up and went to the door. When she opened it, there was a young man, probably about 16 or 17 years old, he was wearing black jeans that were about 12 inches to long and 24 inches to big in the waist. He had on a sweatshirt that must have been a XX and he was about 5’5″ and 125lbs soaking wet. Let me stop here for a second. If I ever showed up to work wearing what this kid was wearing, I would be fired on the spot. I realize that many of these kids do this job part time for extra cash but it astounds me that they fail to see how their appearance will affect the success rate of sale. The way this kid was dressed, I would expect to see him standing in a group of about 12 kids on the curb at the movie theater on a Friday and Saturday night from about 6pm to 11pm.

You know the kids I am talking about. The teenie-bopper kids that stand outside the movies ALL night long, texting, giggling, or having their own little West Side Story moments as the little 13 year old guys act tough and give each other dirty looks as if any moment they really are going to cross the line and actually get down and dirty, pull the gloves off and maybe shoulder-bump someone or if they “ain’t scerred” they might actually push someone and call them a name.

All of the guys stand on one half of the group and the girls all stand on the other half of the group. The only reason they even stand near each other is because ONE of the guys and ONE of the girls is “going around” (that’s what we called it in my day). The rest of the group is there by association. The two that are in a semi-relationship stand next to each other, with their backs to each other and talk to their half of the group. The girls talk about the boys, the boys do some of the stupidest crap you have ever seen thinking it will impress the other half of the group. This usually entails wrestling in the street, jumping off of high things or my favorite standing stoic and trying to look like the meanest 14 year old in the entire world waiting for the GIRLS to come to HIM.

These are the kids that, if you are lucky are standing off to the side giving the rent-a-cops headaches, but are usually standing right in front of the ticket booth so that everyone has to walk around them to try and purchase a ticket. Anyway I am getting off topic, all I meant to say is this 16 year old standing at my door could have easily fit in with that crowd but here he was dressed in his father’s clothes standing at my door trying to sell me a newspaper subscription.

My wife answered the door and I was still in the living room, she opens the door and I hear “wow, you look good”, I come around the corner and in an effort to cover up the kid says “Oh, you look well too sir.” Apparently in newspaper sales school they teach these kids to hit on every pretty lady that opens the door. Don’t get me wrong, my wife is a hottie and I don’t blame the kid for his reaction but once again, if our goal is to sell papers you are lucky if the customer can look past your clown clothes; I doubt they will ignore the come-ons as well.

So the kid goes through his “schpeel” about the paper and I tell him I don’t need to spend that much money on paper I only use to start my BBQ pit (I read the news online).  He insists that it is really cheap BBQ lighting paper if you only by the weekend addition. Once again I decline and give my wife the “shut the door look” after a brief exchange of pleasantries my wife closes the door.

After the boy left I sat their shaking my head. The kid looked more like a wanna-be criminal than a professional trying to sell me goods or services. It just seems to me like more of the “entitlement” attitude that is permeating the U.S. right now. I almost got the impression that the kid had decided, “I don’t have to really make an effort, don’t need to look good, don’t need to speak clearly or even have any idea of what I want to say, these people should buy a subscription just because I showed up.” I just don’t understand the “I deserve something for nothing” attitude that young people today have.

The whole point of my story is Antonio Banderas is a very handsome man.


6 Responses to Door to Door Salesmen – I thought you were dead?

  1. klytus7 says:

    You are crazy InnerGeekdom guy, well said!

  2. klytus7 says:

    We all miss your fine post unknown dude. End of line.

  3. UR WIFES SECRET says:


  4. bc3263827 says:

    I think if you re-read the post you will notice that my criticism is that the young man’s appearance was not at all professional and his behavior was inappropriate.
    I have no problem with young people doing these jobs to pay for school, but have a little pride and professionalism and treat it like what it is a job representing a company.
    I am assuming based on your success in this business that you took it more seriously and were more professional than the young man I interacted. That was my criticism.

  5. Kevin Reape says:

    Haha awesome site. Definitely bookmarking this one. I believe you commented on my site as well under the MPAA story, I also commented back just so ya know. Thanks a lot!

  6. gerry "newspaper salesman" says:

    I have been selling newspaper subscriptions for a long time now… since i was a little thug at age 16.. i am now 37 and still going strong despite people that think like you. This job has given me the chance to turn my whole life around… The kids that stick with the door to door jobs and learn how to make a good living will change for the better. There are kids everywhere that dress to impress… the wannabe’s etc… Im sure you were some kind of wannabe to… like a skater, surfer, whatever… at least these kids are out trying to earn a living, learning how to communicate, and be a productive member of society. People should start reading the paper more often. Dont be so quick to judge, and maybe if you got your nose out of the puter you would gain some social skills yourself and quit being so afraid o answer the door or phone… you sound like like a geek… your name suits you!!

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